We Were Late On Rent This Month, But We Decided To Be Happy

October 06, 2015
Quirky, Brown Love | Decide To Be Happy
This time was the first time that Matt and I have ever been late on rent.

Although we did spend a little bit more than expected on our trip to Colorado last month, we did make sure that we would have enough to cover our bills. The one thing that tripped us up was the fact that Matt's job changed the company that does their paychecks, which delayed all of their employee's payment (so I'm sure that we weren't the only ones late on a bill).

We exhausted every option that we could think of to come up with all of the money on time; however, we still came up short.

Matt and I could have easily had a horrible night last night. We could have yelled at each other and critiqued each other's spending habits. I could have cried and Matt could have went to bed angry.

I could feel both of our blood pressures rising. 

Instead of feeding into our natural extincts, I say "screw it. Let's go out for dinner." Matt looked shocked for a second, but then I saw the weight release from his shoulders. "Really? We can go out for dinner?' "Yes, I get paid again this week. I'll reimburse us for dinner and I'll even get us a cheap bottle of wine." And that is exactly what I did. Matt and I sat in the bar area of Outback and enjoyed ourselves over steak and drinks (both on special, of course). We talked about crazy things at work, future vacations, blogging and other light things. Afterwards, just as promised, we drove to the grocery store, bought a $5.99 bottle of wine and got tipsy on a Monday night. Both of us went to sleep happy after drinking wine and watching a movie. The next day, I talked to the manager of my apartment community, and she agreed to waive the late fee for our rent!

So, how many of you would have gone to bed worried and angry? Growing up, I watched my parents do the same thing. Any time there was a monetary struggle, the whole family knew about it. My mom would tell my dad that he gambled too much money in the stock market and my dad would tell us that my mom never listened to his plan for saving money. I thought that me getting a job at 14 would somehow make them stop arguing, but honestly there was no amount of money that could prevent this from happening. My parents were too busy casting the blame on the other person that they weren't willing to take a step back and work together.

Not once did they decide to be happy. Not once.

For a while, I told myself that I would never marry because I didn't want a relationship like my parents; however, I learned that the attitude that you have within the relationship can make all of the difference. Matt and I definitely don't have a perfect relationship, but we make sure that we see each other as adults and as partners. I am so proud of Matt and I for choosing to be happy instead of blaming each other and ripping each other's heads off.

In a relationship or not, when was the last time you decided to be happy?

RELEVANT READS
1.A Fly Drowned In My Beer, And It Changed My Whole Perspective On Life
2.Carefree Spirit, It's Okay To Admit That You Love The Idea of Travel, But Are Afraid To Actually Do It
3.Embracing Your Life's Story, No Matter How Unideal It Is

What To Do When You Realize That You Are Starting To Not Like People

October 05, 2015
Quirky, Brown Love | What To Do When You Realize That You Are Starting To Not Like People
There comes a time in everyone's life when faith in humanity starts to dwindle. People could be annoying you at work, life may suck in your new city or you could have just realized that you prefer the company of one: yourself. So, what do you do when the thought of never talking to another human being again sounds all too appealing? Here are some tips:

1. Listen To That Thought
Take a mental break away from people. Turn off your phone, stop accepting invites to boring events when you would rather be watching Netflix. There is a reason that you are not liking people right now. Pin point and figure out that reason.

2. Make Sure That You Still Like Yourself
The reason that you are starting to not like people could partly be because you are not liking the person that you are becoming. Are you happy with how you are spending your life? Do you feel like you stay true to yourself when people ask you to do things that you don't want to do? Do you feel like people depend on you too much?

3. Re-Evaluate The People In Your Life
Are you wasting your time with people who are draining you of your energy? Don't ever feel like you can't eliminate people from your life. If there is a friend/associate in your life that you don't really like, drop them like a bad habit. There is no need to come up with an explanation and if they ask why you stopped talking to them, say that you are "working on yourself". If there is a family member, best friend or even sorority sister that is stressing out your life, give them the courtesy of having a conversation, then take your space away from them.

4. Take a Break From Social Media
Nothing makes me dislike people more than seeing people post ignorant stuff on social media. Sometimes I get selfied-out. Don't add fuel to your fire: close the laptop and put down the cell phone.

5. Watch Netflix
You are bound to find a movie or show on Netflix with a main character who can relate to your struggle or can somehow put you at ease. For some reason, my go to movies on Neflix when I'm in a weird mood are Mean Girls, Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World and Up in The Air. Plus, Netflix people can be so much better than real-life people.

6. Surround Yourself With True Friends
True friends are real extensions of yourself. Living in a new environment or in a new stage of your life can really make you feel lost and cynical at times. Take some time to be around the people that you like the most, even if that means taking a road trip to visit your friend from high school/college.

7. Do It Differently This Time Around
Now that you have had time to reflect on why you started not liking people in the first place, make some changes this time around. Don't continue to let people take advantage of you. Have a positive spirit that can't be crushed by the negativity of people around you. Don't say "yes" to every request. Learn to say "hell no" when you mean "hell no".

RELEVANT READS
1.We Were Late On Rent This Month, But We Decided To Be Happy
2.A Fly Drowned In My Beer, And It Changed My Whole Perspective On Life
3.Carefree Spirit, It's Okay To Admit That You Love The Idea of Travel, But Are Afraid To Actually Do It
4.Embracing Your Life's Story, No Matter How Unideal It Is

Quirky, Brown Chicks: Camille, Jazmine and Cheyenne of Pretty Brown and Nerdy

October 01, 2015
Quirky, Brown Chicks: Camille, Jazmine and Cheyenne of Pretty Brown and Nerdy
If I had it my way, all of the quirky, brown chicks of the world would come together, become friends and sing kumbaya while listening to Solange and drinking craft beer. Until that day comes, I present to you the Quirky, Brown Chick series. Today I have brought you 3 for the price of 1! Meet Camille, Jazmine and Cheyenne of Pretty Brown and Nerdy.
1. How would you describe your personal style?
Camille
If you’re talking about fashion right now I am going through a bit of a change. I got rid of many of my clothes (about 60% of my wardrobe) so I could adopt the capsule wardrobe trend to my life, I am really tying to minimize the amount of things that I own. As far as my style, I would say some times minimalist, sometimes afro-futurist, sometimes eclectic. I wear a lot of black, grey, olive and purple. When I do mix it up I love to wear prints and switch up my glasses to go with how I am feeling!
Jazmine
I like a variety of different looks. I gravitate more toward the minimalist style with black and white color palettes. Along with alternative fashion. 
Cheyenne
My personal style is kinda just whatever I think looks good at the time. I can dress really feminine at times....but I also like to switch it up with a tomboy style. I think tomboy styles suit me best!


2. What song are you vibing with right now?
Camille
Quirky, Brown Chicks: Camille, Jazmine and Cheyenne of Pretty Brown and Nerdy
Since the video came out I’ve been listening to Alright a lot by Kendrick Lamar, the whole To Pimp a Butterfly album really. I find myself turning up the radio when F*** Up Some Commas by Future or Flex by Rich Homie Quan comes on. (Bryanda's Note: Giiiiirrrrl, me too! Oo Oo Oo-oo)
Jazmine
I'm listening to Lianne La Havas's album Blood on repeat. 
Cheyenne
I really love listening to St Beauty. Right now they’re my everything 

3. Favorite place that you have traveled?

Camille
My the top two places I’ve ever been are Zanzibar, Tanzania and Puerto Rico. I think I’m just really about that ‪#‎IslandLife‬. Fresh coconuts, fish and mangoes really just do it for me.
Jazmine
Favorite place that you have traveled? I've been to a lot of different places but I really liked California when my family went a few years ago. 
Cheyenne
I went to South Korea this summer...and it was the most amazing trip I have ever taken!

4.Favorite pastime?
Camille
Dickin’ around on the internet tbh. Spending time with my love ones, being shady on the internet, just having a good time.
Jazmine
Quirky, Brown Chicks: Camille, Jazmine and Cheyenne of Pretty Brown and Nerdy
Favorite pastime? My favorite pastime would have to be playing outside with all the kids in the neighborhood when we lived in Florida. The entire block knew each other and it was always fun. 
Cheyenne
My mom doing my hair. (Getting your hair done free...)

5. What is something about you that people wouldn't expect?

Camille
I’m extremely sensitive, I internalize a lot but I think that feeling too much helps me empathize with people easier.
Jazmine
I like heavy metal. 
Cheyenne
That I am really into korean pop music...!

6. Tell us about your YouTube Channel!

Camille
Pretty Brown & Nerdy reflects who we are! The three of us decided to come together to create the content we wanted to see, there aren’t that many black girl nerds out there making youtube videos so why not change that? Our channel focuses on all things nerdy, tv shows, cosplay, movies, comics, anime, gaming and more!
Jazmine
Pretty Brown and Nerdy is fun, quirky, and a place for us to talk about everything we love in nerd culture. It's a place for other PoC and Blerds to come and hopefully we can inspire them.

7. What/who inspires you?
Camille
I am personally inspired by my friends, I have the drive to do things because of the support of my friends. 
Jazmine
I draw inspiration from people I meet throughout life, the placed I've been to, music I listen to, and artist. 
Cheyenne
Quirky, Brown Chicks: Camille, Jazmine and Cheyenne of Pretty Brown and Nerdy
Mostly people who are already in the position I want to be in.


8. What stereotypes about the Black community do you wish you could destroy?
Camille
That black means anything other than the racial group a person belongs to. Blackness is vast and expansive, we are not a monolith and nothing singular can define us. 
Jazmine
That all of us are "thugs" and "hood chicks"
Cheyenne
The "ghetto" and "rachet" stereotypes...

9. Anything else? 
We appreciate everyone who ends up reading this! Don’t forget to subscribe to our youtube channel on youtube.com/prettybrownandnerdy!
You can follow us on twitter as well at @PBNtweets, and look out for our blog site coming soon!


About Us

Quirky, Brown Love is a media outlet for quirky, brown millennials. EST 2014.

Email Bryanda Law, Editor-in-Chief
editor@quirkybrownlove.com