Brown Love Stories: 3 Things I Learned About Love (Guest Post)

July 16, 2015
We find love in the most unexpected places, in the most unexpected ways, at the least expected times.
All the quotes you see about strength, and pain, and love are true. Once you let go and let God, all things are possible. Put your faith and your hands in God and watch what happens. Your tears, your calls, and your prayers do not go silent. If it something He has also wanted for you, He will give it to you. Not on your time, but on His, which is always, always, always right on time. I often find myself asking, “How did I come from such a place of pain, turmoil, heartbreak, a place of consistent unhappiness, to being with the man I have always dreamed of in such a short span of time?” Here are the three things that I learned:
 1. God's plans are always bigger and better. I went to West Africa summer of 2014 with the goal in mind that I would improve myself as a travel and portrait photographer, teach photography, and immerse myself into a new country while meeting new people. Little did I know that this trip would end up mainly being a trip for personal discovery, personal growth and for personal relationships. Around the same time that I decided that I was going to be traveling to Senegal and The Gambia, I was connected with my husband to be on Facebook. We have mutual friends; his best friend is my close friend’s husband. Once I arrived to The Gambia, it was his family who took me in and gave me a place to stay during my one-month stay. It was he who helped me throughout my whole trip, taking me to the places I needed to visit to get the photos I wanted to capture, to learn about the history, and to make sure I was okay. We clicked the first day we met. Despite language differences (English is his second language; English was my best subject in school), we just get each other. I feel safe and comfortable with him, and we know how to have fun together and make each other laugh and smile. Everything after that was a whirlwind, but I can say we are both truly happy seeing all of this was a part of God’s plans.
 2. You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice. Long distance in any relationship is hard, but it is even harder with an immigrant spouse. I have witnessed the hardships of having a long distance and cross-cultural marriage but now it is my turn to experience it. The struggle is so much better with the right companion and support system by your side, who can be there for you if not physically, then spiritually. It is a simple feeling that just automatically gives you strength when the love is mutual and reciprocal. All I knew was that I wanted to be with a good man who understands me, who lets me be myself, who mutually wants a happy, adventurous, monogamous, and long lasting marriage, where we also build up each other to be a better version of ourselves. To find him halfway across the world in a country I barely knew anything about was very unexpected but I’ll take it!
 3. Lessons are always to be learned, every day. There is always room to grow. Every person is not perfect, but the right person is perfect for you. There is a reason why the one you are meant to be with is called your other half. The older you get, the smaller your circle gets. This is something you grow to realize as you move through the different chapters in life. Be careful who you trust and who you talk to. It is so easy to go from telling too many people about your relationship, to not enough people learning about your relationship. Not everyone will understand your relationship. It is manageable, especially in today’s world of social media. If you don’t remember anything else from this post… Be open to love, expect the unexpected, and be patient. If you are truly ready for love, and you love yourself, you will not know which direction it will come, your responsibility is to just be prepared.

 -Zaakirah
www.zaakirahnayyar.com
Atlanta based photographer and travel blogger

The Melanated Bosses Series: Olivia Johnson

July 13, 2015
Inspired from the "Melanated Goddesses" movement, I present to you the Melanated Bosses Series: a series highlighting young, brown woman bosses from all over. Meet Olivia of Liv Lovely.
1. Tell us about your entrepreneurial ventures! 
I am a freelance writer, and recently started my own blog Livlovely.com, THE place to flourish in your career, relationships and life! I am also a freelance videographer and video editor with a business in the field (Silver Iris Entertainment). I am expanding that to offer photography and graphic design, I want it to be a visual marketing firm. Lastly, I am the executive producer, director, and co-host of "The Lady's Guide: Lead, Love, Learn", a web talk show centered around the advancement of women in their personal and professional lives.

You Better Watch Out. White Girls Are Getting Thick.

July 07, 2015
If you are a black girl in America, there is a 90% chance that you have heard someone say this, according to the hashtag, #HowItFeelsToBeABlackGirl. The sad thing is that you most likely heard this comment from a Black man that you know. In the recent decade, having curves has been popular for people of all ethnic backgrounds, including White women who are stereotyped for preferring a slimmer figure.

So how are you suppose to react to the comment, "You better watch out because these White girls are starting to get thick out here"? Do you just brush it off? Or do you respond to it firmly and get told that you are insecure or an "angry, Black women"? There is no good way to respond to a comment that shouldn't have been said in the first place.

Why as a Black woman should my self-worth be determined by the pants size of my non-Black friends?

Comments like these are why people assume that Black men and Black women don't get along and perpetuate the perceived stereotype that a Black men prefer White women. It suggests that the only reason that a Black man would choose to date a Black woman is because she has a fuller backside, not because her thoughts are stimulating and her beauty is radiant. This also aids to the stereotype that features that are prominent to Black women look better on White women (Kylie Jenner tried it with her dreads and lip injections).

The thought that a Black woman's worth is dependent on how her body looks is not something new.  It dates back to African practices, slavery days and is embedded in hip hop culture. For someone reason, people feel the need to undermine the power and beauty of Black women by subjecting us to sexist practices.

So, in short. If a White woman decides that she wants to invest her time and calories into getting her preferred figure, that's none of my business and in no way determines my self-worth.

What are your thoughts?

About Us

Quirky, Brown Love is a media outlet for quirky, brown millennials. EST 2014.

Email Bryanda Law, Editor-in-Chief
editor@quirkybrownlove.com