7 Ways To Create The Life You Want On Your Own Terms + Free Your Mind Writing Challenge

Have you ever felt like your life was on autopilot as if you’re going through the motions of life just existing without a plan?

Tell me if this scenario sounds familiar...

You wake up feeling overwhelmed because once again you hit the snooze button one too many times and now you’re rushing trying to get everyone out of the house in less than an hour. You’re fussing at the kids because they’re moving too slow (because you woke up late) and you can’t afford for them to miss their school bus or you’ll be late to work. There’s no time for breakfast so everyone has to grab something and get out of the house quickly. You rush to work praying that you don’t get caught in traffic. Thankfully you make it just in time for your 8-hour shift. Once the clock hits 5pm you rush home to get the kids from aftercare because they get out of school before you get off work.

By the time you get home, you’re exhausted, but you have to cook dinner, help the kids with their homework, prepare for baths and bedtime just to do it all over again the next day.

Does this sound like your life? This was similar to my life a few years ago. I was literally repeating the same routine day in and day out. I was anxious for Friday to come and dreading Sunday because I knew I would have to start the routine all over again.

I was simply existing going through the motions of life without a purpose. 

I would often think to myself that there had to be more to my life than being a wife, mother, an employee, etc. Everyone was getting my time, but me. I felt unfulfilled and discontent. I was stuck! 

From the outside looking in it may have seemed like I had it all together a “good” job, family, house, car but yet here was an emptiness that I felt inside because I wasn’t really living life, I was simply existing in it. 
When I was a kid I had so many dreams of what I wanted to do when I grew up and at some point adult life hit me and the dreams I once had got buried deep inside me. 

I desired to know my purpose and do work that would make a positive impact in the lives of others. I realized that I was 100% responsible for my life and that if I wanted to be free, I needed to create a life that felt good to me inside and out.  

Everyone’s self-discovery journey will look different but there are at least seven things I want you to consider as you start to think about how you want to show up in the world.  I also want to invite you to take a free writing challenge to help you get started with gaining clarity of your life. 

Get clear about what you want 
There are so many people walking around who have no idea what they want for their life. They’ve accepted someone else’s idea of what they should be doing but haven’t taken the time to think about what they really want. If you feel like you should be doing more with your life, but you’re unsure where to start, answer the following questions during your journal time. 
  • What makes you come alive?
  • What do you want most for your life ?
  • What don’t you want for your life?
  • What are you most passionate about? 
  • What steps are you willing to take today to start moving forward? 

Visualize your ideal life 
Ok, this may seem a little woo-woo but just follow me. When you think about your life in the future, what do you want to be doing, who do you want to be spending time with, how do you want to feel? Visualizing your future self is just like the law of attraction, dreaming about what you want and then that dream becoming your reality. You can speak it out loud, write about it, whatever you choose, it’s you setting intentions and letting the universe know what you want to experience in your life.

Shift your mindset
This is huge because I’m a firm believer that thoughts become things. Many people are so consumed by their negative thoughts that it’s hard to see past their current situation. Begin to shift your mindset and affirm the person you want to become. Recite positive affirmations throughout the day that will empower and encourage you. Don’t allow negative thoughts to settle in your mind when you notice them immediately start thinking of something positive. 

Believe in yourself 
No dream is too big. No goal is too far out of reach. If you believe with everything that you have that your dreams are possible, then they will be. Limit the negative self-talk and know that no matter what you are good enough and you don’t need validation from others. Stretch yourself and believe that you have what it takes to live the life you desire for yourself. 

Create goals that align with your vision 
Once you get clear about what you want then create goals that align with the vision that you have for your life. Make sure that your goals are SMART (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, timely) and lastly map out a plan on how you’re going to make your goals happen. 

Practice gratitude  
In everything that you do be grateful. It’s easy to focus on the things that you don’t have but that will get you nowhere. Be grateful for every experience and embrace your journey. No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s always something that you can be grateful for. I like to keep a gratitude journal, daily I write down 3-5 things that I am grateful for each day. It helps me keep everything in perspective. 

Find your girl squad/tribe 
Surround yourself with positive energy. When you’re changing your life you need a support system that will cheer for you and encourage you on your journey. You can build your squad online and/or offline. I have best friends that have been in my life for 20+ years and I’ve also built some great relationships with women that I met online. You want to connect with individuals who have similar interest as you so that you have people in your corner that will celebrate with you when you’re winning and encourage you when you’re feeling down. 

Do the work
Of course, nothing that I shared today will mean anything if you don’t do the work. 
Make a commitment to yourself that you will put forth the effort every single day to create the life you envision for yourself because you are worth it. 

The journey to creating the life you want won’t be easy because if it was everyone would be doing it. Your journey is YOUR journey. Embrace it and don’t get caught up in comparing your life to someone else’s. Live your life! 

Join the 7-Day Free Your Mind Writing Challenge that will help you start the journey to creating the life you want by journaling your experiences. 

*Written by Siobhan of BeFreeProject.com

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Quirky, Brown Love is a media outlet for quirky, brown millennials. EST 2014.

Email Bryanda Law, Editor-in-Chief
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