People that know me in real life know that I am generally a happy person. At any time of the day, you are bound to catch me smiling or laughing with a friend; however, even through the smiles, there are times that I'm battling with my inner-self to feel present, alive and valuable.
I've never really put a name on my anxiety because when I originally looked it up, it didn't seem like I had all of the symptoms.
I don't really have true panic attacks and I'm not a perfectionist. I do, however always overthink comments that are made about me and constantly worry about saying the wrong thing. I'm always inside of my head, so much so that I always feel exhausted. It takes me forever to text people back because for some reason, the timing just isn't right when they text or I'm afraid of making certain social commitments.
I'm sure that I'll have people that know me in real life that will roll their eyes while reading this article because I hide my feelings well...until I don't.
If my friends and family would only realize that I'm usually the listener in our relationships. They talk and spill their souls to me and I listen, often trying to come up with a solution. Rarely am I ever truly asked how I'm doing with someone who really wants to listen, but it's okay because I probably wouldn't be able to find the words to describe it. My thoughts are exhausting.
My friends are always calling me out for randomly getting up and leaving (or sometimes running away), but I just get overwhelmed in my perceptions sometimes. I guess these are my versions of panic attacks. My thoughts and perceptions of certain situations become too much and I just shut down.
I'm not saying that my feelings are unique or anything. I am more or less just admitting them out loud. Hopefully it will help someone.
In times that I feel my heart racing or when I'm on the verge of tears (like crying over soup), I thank God for the internet. Websites like The Mighty have helped me understand what I'm feeling, as well as open my mind to people who are struggling with disabilities, diseases and mental illnesses that I would have not otherwise known about.
Whenever I have feelings of overwhelm, I turn to these articles:
Articles About Anxiety
- What It's Like to Have 'High-Functioning' Anxiety
- 8 Things Someone With 'High-Functioning' Anxiety Wishes You Knew
- You Can Have Your Sh*t Together and Still Struggle With Anxiety
- 27 Secrets of People With Hidden Anxiety
- What People Don't Say About Practicing Mindfulness to Help With Anxiety
- When My Mind Tells Me I Don't Have Anxiety and Depression
- When 'I Don't Know’ Is My Only Response to People Questioning My Anxiety
Articles About Depression
- When People With Depression Function 'Too Well'
- If Depression Could Speak
- What Nobody Tells You About Self-Care
- I'm a Christian Living With Depression
- How Finding Beauty Every Day Helps Me Manage My Depression
- Depression Doesn't Care About Your To-Do List
- Adventures in Depression | Depression Part 2
What helps you battle through times of anxiety or depression?