What About Your Friends: How Time with My Girls is Beneficial to my Love Life

by Keila Dumas
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Let’s face it: I miss my girls sometimes. 
From my high school besties who are still down, to my college best friends whom I lovingly call “The Eshas.” I miss them. Post-college, we have separated to different parts of the country, embarked on many different journeys, and entered some great (and not so great) relationships. And while we love to spend time with our boos, we make sure that we make time for each other. Whether it is a phone call, FaceTime, or a planned out excursion, us girls need some quality time together. Sometimes, we forget that we need that feminine energy to circulate in the atmosphere and bring that balance back! Time with my girls is vital; here’s why!
I need them to tell me about myself.
I’ve done this plenty of times. Called my bestie and said “Girl, tell me if I’m trippin!” And she has said…yes. (*side eye*)
While I would love for my friends to always take my side, it would be “flaw” of them to not hold up that mirror for me and help me become more accountable for my actions.

At times, it’s my friends who add that “spark” to my relationship.
How? Simple. Everyone does not think the same and that is a good thing. There are plenty of times where I run out of date ideas or just cute little things to do for myself and/or for my boyfriend, and my girls come through with tons of resources and ideas to make every day different.

They remind me to feel as awesome as I am.
There have been many occasions where I have left the house looking a hot mess. They remind me of how important the motto “If you look good, you feel good” is. Plus, I know that they would not bring me out looking any kind of way and I appreciate them for that. I’m sure my boyfriend does too...

Sometimes, I call my Besties before I call my Mom.  
Granted, my Mom is definitely a fellow Sista girl when I need her to be but there are instances where I don’t need a parental lecture for my womanly shortcomings. My friends are there to provide the empathy and the advice and (try to) use a more sensitive tone with me. I really don’t like being told about myself and they get that sometimes I just need an ear.

The love that Best Friends share is irreplaceable.
I know that no matter what happens or where we are, or what paths we choose, and who we choose to spend our lives with, our love for each other is unconditional. There is nothing I can do to make them love me less. (Well, nothing that I could think of, lol.) Especially on those days where I have to search long and hard to accept my own flaws. My girls are able to hold up that mirror, give me that pep talk, hug me right when I need it, and be there at all the right moments.

And this, is something I am always thankful for. I am always recharged with energy after catching up with them, and that “me and my girls” time makes for great “us” time with my boyfriend. 

It gives us a chance to miss each other, gain new perspectives, and be thankful for the circles that we run with. Always spend time with the genuine people who mean well. College shows us a lot about all types of relationships and the work that they require. Don’t be afraid to call your girls up and say “Hey! We need a date.” You never know how bad they might need to be around you too. And to close with a quote from Gee Money in New Jack City (please don’t judge me), “We all we got!”

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