7 Reasons Why You'll Never Find Your Husband or Wife on Tinder

January 31, 2015
Sounds harsh right? Okay, let me explain.

To start, I will go over briefly what Tinder is for any reasons who are not familiar. Tinder is a dating app (usually linked to Facebook) that allows you to look through all of the single people on Tinder in your area and decide whether or not you find them attractive. If you find them attractive you swipe right. If you don't find them appealing you swipe left. If you both swipe right, then it is a match and you are able to have a chat and possibly set up a date. If you swipe right but the other person swipes left, then there is no chance for you to talk to see if you are a match. I obviously don't have a Tinder, but I have several friends who do. From their experiences plus the several experiences found on YouTube, I have come up with 7 reasons why you will more than likely not find your husband or wife on Tinder:

1. Some People Are Not Photogenic Or Are Too Photogenic
I personally am not photogenic, so the thought of Tinder and Instagram absolutely terrify me. I am sure that there are several other terrified souls out there that feel the same way and either don't get a Tinder or get swiped to the left mercifulessly. On the other hand, some people can always find their good angle and right light that makes them look like gifts from God...until you see them in person.
2. Tinder Makes People Cynical
Tinder is fun and exciting until you realize that there are people out there just like you who are swiping your picture to the left. After this realization, some people may think that everyone in the world is superficial and that they will never find true love. Luckily, this is not the case!
3. People Be Lyin'
So every 20-something year old guy just happens to have a purse-sized puppy that you find adorable, is 6 feet tall and likes Taylor Swift? Give me a break.
4. You Only See What They Want You To See
Tinder is probably a dream come true for "showboaters" around the world. On Tinder, if you put one picture of you volunteering in Guatemala, you are a humanitarian. If you want people to think that you are an intellectual, snap a selfie of you in the library. Want to seem like a cool yet spiritual hipster? Leave an earthy, abstract quote about life in your bio. The list of manipulation goes on.
5. You Don't Know Who Else They Are Talking Too
So, I found the inspiration for this next point on YouTube. Apparently, there was this guy who was talking to a group of girl friends at the same time and didn't even know it. The crazy thing is that his seemingly genuine conversations were nothing more than copied and pasted phrases that he used with every girl. It would suck to know that you were just another girl on his list that he just copied and pasted with in conversation.
6. You Don't Know Their True Intentions
Tinder is technically a dating app, though it has gotten the nickname of "Grindr for straight people" (Grindr is a hook-up app for people of the same sex). Imagine going on a date with someone who you thought wanted a relationship, but was really under the impression that you were an easy lay.
7. Humans Are Not Programmed For Tinder
As a biologist, I know that there are several aspects that factor into an animal's attraction for another animal (yes, humans are animals!). Though physical attraction is a very important aspect, it is not the only aspect. What about pheremonal attraction (the chemicals that our bodies secrete), eye contact? Or the confidence they exude in the way that they walk? Tinder doesn't fully factor in a person's sarcasm or quirky twitches that you can't help but like. You could have just swiped away the person that just gets you and matched with the biggest douchebag/golddigger you could ever meet. 

Tinder is great if you are just looking for a casual date with someone attractive, but don't depend on it to find the love of your life.

Anything that you would add to the list? 

Brown Love Stories: Mimi and Reau

January 30, 2015
Hello, everyone! I am excited to present to you a wonderful couple that I have had the pleasure of interviewing, Mimi and Reau. I met Mimi through her lifestyle blog Mimi Cute Lips. What a beautiful example of black love. I hope that you enjoy!

1. Names (Hers and His) 
Mimi & Reau

2. Ages (Hers and His) 
35 & 36

3. Length of relationship 
We’ve been together 11 years

4. How did you two meet? 
We met on a mutual friend’s message board online. We had friends in common but didn’t know one another.

5. What makes your relationship "quirky" or unique? 
We are naturally silly and like to have a good time. We work hard, but we play hard too. We are comfortable in our relationship and we are free to be our true selves. No matter how ridiculous that might be at times.

6. What is one quirky habit that you have learned about him?
He loves to lounge around the house in his motorcycle gear. Yes, this means his helmet, one piece letter and or riding boots.

7. What is one quirky habit that you have learned about her? 
She has a fear of hair, toes and chewing gum.

8. Quirkiest moment and/or adventure?
We went to Puerto Rico in 2011 on a baby moon for kid number 2. I was determined to go to a rain forest to see a real waterfall. We rented a car and they gave us a Toyota, Prius. We set out to find this rain forest (waterfall) via GPS. The adventure started out cool; we got to see the non-tourist parts of Puerto Rico. After driving for some time we found ourselves inside the rain forest driving on a 2 lane dirt road. On each side was a major cliff, I’m talking you fall off and flip 30 times before you hit the ground but nobody is going to ever find you type of cliff. The entire time our ears are popping as we go further up this mountain. Lol There were horses walking along side our car so close I could touch them. It was just crazy, so funny, yet such a beautiful experience. We would later find the waterfall AFTER we left the rain forest and were headed back to the hotel. hahahah
9. What will the back cover or your love story read? 
We came, we saw, we conquered and we made it look easy.

Make sure to check out Mimi's blog as well as her social media sites.


Don't Give Up On That Dream

January 29, 2015
Quirky, Brown Love | Don't Give Up On That Dream
So it is harder than you thought it would be?

In your mind, if it was meant to be, it should have been easier for you to achieve. Maybe you have had a few road blocks, such as financial trouble, not doing well on an admissions test or missing a deadline that you set for yourself. It's okay to fail. It's okay to fail more than once, twice, thrice, etc. It's also okay to be afraid and cry about it. 

So how do you know if you should give up on your dream? Just know that you were given this passion for a reason and if you really feel that you have put a true effort towards this goal, don't give up just yet. Instead of going straight into your dream, maybe there are still a few things that the universe has to teach you first. Are you mature enough to handle the responsibilities that come with this dream? Have you actually experienced life before you thrust yourself into this all-consuming step? 

When you look back at your life, would you really be happy living a linear life like you have planned in your notebook?


In physics, there is a difference between distance (a scalar quantity) and displacement (a vector). When calculating distance, you take into consideration the distance from your starting line per period of time. This includes every wrong turn, every backtrack and even if you walk back to the starting line. Displacement, however, only looks at the starting line and the final destination. All of your wrong turns, backtracks and complete start-overs are all forgiven, as long as you make it to your personal finish line. 
Quirky, Brown Love | Don't Give Up On That Dream
So how are you living your life? Are you about to give up on your dream because your are afraid that you won't make it to your finish line? Did that wrong turn or setback make you question the course that you are taking? Setbacks can be so discouraging, but remember where you started and where you are now. If your dream was suppose to be easy, everyone would be doing it, but that is not the case. 


You have come to far from that start line to just give up now.

13 HD Stock Photo Websites For Bloggers and Creatives

January 26, 2015
Free stock photo websites are a great resource to bloggers and project developers alike. With Google, most people have forgotten that images still are copyrighted, so free stock photo websites can help protect you from embarrassing emails or even lawsuits. Though, not all stock photo websites are equal. I will share with you my favorite stock photo websites that don't require sign ups

1. Unsplash- Website
This is the website that I use the most often. It gives you 10 HD photos every 10 days and they are of a variety of different categories. My only complaint is that there is no way to search by category, though you can't really complain about such beautiful HD pictures!
Photo By Jeff Sheldon
Photo By Alexandr Schwarz

2. Little Visuals- Website
This website is like Unsplash, but the two main differences is that there a 7 new pictures every 7 days and I like that they have labels for the different categories that you can click on.

3.New Old Stock- Website
This is an amazing site for a vintage blogger! These photos are amazing and very oldtimey (hints the name of the site).
Kungsgatan (King street) in Avesta, Dalarna, Sweden
The Finnish Milkmaids

4. Gratisophy- Website
This is probably my new favorite website for stock photos. All of the photos have a retro feel and this site has probably the most variety of all of them. Some of these photos are just down right hilarious.
Picture by Ryan McGuire
Picture by Ryan McGuire
Picture by Ryan McGuire

5. Raumrot-Website
This is another website with great variety. Lots of food, landscapes and retro pictures. The pictures are also broken down by category.

6. Picography- Website
This website has lots of beautiful landscapes, ideal for a travel blogger.
Dubrovnik
Locked in Love
7. Pic Jumbo- Website
This is another one of my favorites because of the search button
Free image: Girl in Winter Fashion Coat
Free image: Another Colorful Fainfair: Bumper Cars!

8. IM Free- Website
This is an amazing site that has several categories. This is one of the few of these stock photo sites listed that have stock photos of people.
Picture
Picture

9. Jay Mantri- Website
This site was built on Tumblr and has very large, high quality photos of mostly landscapes.
download
download

10. ISO Republic- Website
Another great site full of pictures shot with a DSLR camera. It also has several good pictures of people, city and nature. Just make sure to download the pictures.


11. Foodies Feed- Website
Finally a stock photo website for the foodie in all of us! This would probably be a good resource for those with food blogs or healthy eating blogs. My only complaint is that you have to actually download the pictures instead of just copying it.

12. Public Domain Archive- Website
This website has a lot of the same photos from the other stock photo websites, so this is kind of like a one-stop website.
Public Domain Images – Golden Gate Bridge Orange Blue Sky Cables
Public Domain Images – Clothes Hanger T-Shirt Store Colors Numbers
13.  Death to the Stock Photo*-Website
So I put a star by this option because to see most of their pictures, you do have to sign up, but I definitely think that it is worth it! They deliver hand picked photos to your inbox. 

Brown Love Stories: Katrina and Neal

January 23, 2015
Hello, everyone! Meet the wonderful Katrina from My Mommy Flies and her husband, Neal. I came across this couple after visiting Katrina's amazing travel-filled blog.What a beautiful example of black loveI hope that you enjoy Katrina and Neal's love story as much as I did!

1. Names (Hers and His) 
Katrina and Neal 

2. Ages ( Hers and His) 
30ish and 41

3. Length of relationship?
 10 years

4. How did you two meet? 
He said "She worked for me."  She said,"We worked together at a company we both worked for.  We had been casual office friends then started hanging out together.  He use to let me beat him in tennis.  One day he asked me to go out with him and some friends to a Common concert.  When I showed up to meet them it was just him.  He told me some story about how the other friends cancelled.  It was cool though we had a good time and spent the entire evening chatting at a diner. We became really good friends and one day we just decided to make a real commitment. We were married less than a year later."
5. What makes your relationship "quirky" or unique?  
We travel a lot as a family. We are always asked where our next destination will be. Our children had passports as soon as they were born. We realize how fortunate we are to be able to see the world as often as we do. We don't take it for granted. 

6. What is one quirky habit that you have learned about him? 
He cuts coupons and leave them to expire. He also has a 90's school boy humor. He says things like..."Deez nuts!"  I mean come on, who still says that?
7. What is one quirky habit that you have learned about her?
Don't let her 5'2 petite frame and vegetarian game fool you, Katrina can eat her weight plus some.  Our first date we ate at a diner and she ate everything on her plate and some of mine to!  That's what I love about her, she was never shy about her food.  She always enjoy a good meal.  

8. Quirkiest moment and/or adventure?
Last year we celebrated our 10 year anniversary in Paris.  On our very last day we had enjoyed an afternoon touring Josephine Baker's home and made plans to meet up with friends later at a Jazz club.  Well when we returned to the flat to get dressed for our last evening in Paris, he told me that he  locked the keys in the flat when we left earlier.   Basically we were locked out.   He contacted the owner for a spare key and made arrangements to meet them on the other side of Paris.  While he was gone one of the residents let me stay in their apartment. I hung out for hours with this lovely couple and their two adorable french kids.  The mother just so happened to be from New York, and was happy to have me as her guest.  He returned hours later with a Locksmith. When we finally had access to the flat I was exhausted and frustrated and didn't want to go anywhere. It was our last evening and we still hadn't put or lock on the famous Love Lock bridge.  After a few moments of realizing how blessed we were, in spite of the hardships of the day, we quickly changed our attitudes.  We got dressed to the nine for our last evening in Paris.  We made it to the club just in time to catch the last set.  We danced a little and celebrated being black and in love in Paris.  On our way back to the apartment we stopped at the Love Lock bridge and found the perfect spot to leave our mark.  It was such a beautiful moment for us to be there together and in good health.  Our last night in Paris was magical and unforgettable.
9. What will the back cover or your love story read.  
"The best thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." That was printed on our wedding program. I think it's very fitting for us.  We are learning acceptance everyday. It's the ultimate form of love. 


Make sure to check out Katrina's blog, as well as her social media sites.

A Letter To the Girl Who is Not Satisfied with Her Appearance

January 22, 2015

Whenever my hair grows out, I'll finally feel confident. All I need is to lose/gain weight in the right places and then I will feel good about myself. If only my face was clear and if my breast were bigger.
Quirky, Brown Love | A Letter To the Girl Who is Not Satisfied with Her Appearance
Don't worry, this is NOT a pep talk. 

Who am I to tell you that you should feel satisfied with how you look? This is simply an attempt to show you that at least one other person on this Earth can somewhat relate you what you are going through.

It doesn't matter how many people tell you that you are pretty. It's not necessarily that you feel like you are ugly, you just know that you would, could and can look better if you could just enhance those few things. So until you reach those appearance goals you put limits on yourself. You don't allow yourself to be completely happy because you feel like you can't be happy. You miss out on specific events because your hair 'won't do right' or because nothing you try on makes you feel beautiful. You can still keep it together though. 

As a young girl, I used to tell myself that even though I have always wanted to visit California, I would not visit until my face was clear and my hair was long. I felt like I didn't DESERVE to travel unless I was pretty. No one, not even people you see everyday know that you are going through this inner struggle. It is so easy these days to develop an envious heart with the constant images of "perfect girls" showing up on social media. How is everyone so on top of their appearance game yet you just feel average?
Quirky, Brown Love | A Letter To the Girl Who is Not Satisfied with Her Appearance
Even though there are a billion advertisements out there telling us what to buy and what to eat to be "beautiful", it is still taboo to actually look at another person in conversation and say "I feel unpretty! I am not happy with how I look!" 

You are just expected to struggle in silence and go about your day as you scroll down your Instagram feed in envy.

So what are you suppose to do since you have already established that you aren't satisfied? Well this is NOT a pep talk, so I will not just tell you that you are beautiful and that you should just learn to be happy with who you are. What I will do is tell you what has been working for me, as your peer. It is unrealistic to simply ask someone to stop comparing herself to others as this is human nature and necessary for survival on a purely biological level. 
Quirky, Brown Love | A Letter To the Girl Who is Not Satisfied with Her Appearance
Do realize, however, that you were given your cards in life because you can handle it. 

Some people were given cards to aim to be in the spotlight at all times because this is what they needed in order to make it in this world. You, on the other hand, may have not been dealt these cards because you don't need them. Maybe the person that you are the most envious of has a personality flaw or maybe God chose to make them the "perfect" specimen. Either way, it is not up to you to try to figure out to make yourself feel better.
Quirky, Brown Love | A Letter To the Girl Who is Not Satisfied with Her Appearance
So, yet again, what do I do to feel better about my appearance? I only focus on what I can change. When I was younger, I wanted to save up for a nose job because to me, my nose took up half of my face. This is something that I can not change since I am personally not for plastic surgery. Things that I could change were my weight, work on my skin and practice healthy hair techniques.  I see these as personal goals to change so I participate in "challenges" (such as hair challenges, squat challenges, etc.) and don't let these small aspects run my life. If you are unhappy about something in your life, it is okay to take time out for yourself to work on changing it, but in the meantime, realize that being so unhappy to the point that it consumes you will not change anything. We as humans have made life so complicated and so competitive that sometimes it is hard to remember on a fundamental level what life is really about. 

So yet again, this is NOT a pep talk. This is just a letter from a girl that can somewhat relate to what you may be going through.

Brown Love Stories: Tori and Blaine

January 19, 2015
Hello, everyone! I am very estatic to present to you a wonderful couple that I came across on YouTube! What a beautiful example of black love. Meet Tori from CoutORi.Beauty and her boyfriend, Blaine.
1. Name (Hers and His)
 Tori and Blaine

2.Ages (Hers and His)
21 and 24

3. Length of Relationship
4 years

4. How did you two meet?
We met when I was on a internship and he was on vacation with his family in Martha's Vineyard. I remember seeing his facebook and immediately being in lust,for a lack of better words. a year went by of me searching for this mystery boy in high school and then giving up. While on the beach, which was miles and miles away from where we lived, he stopped me and pursued me first! How ironic! he thought he was on punk'd lol.
5. What makes your relationship unique or "quirky"?
What makes us so unique is how different we are from each other, but yet the same person. Sounds so cliche! Another crazy thing is the resemblance between me and him. Our fathers look alike and our amazing daughter looks like she is both of our twin! I have checked and dug deep and there is NO RELATION! haha

6. What is one quirky habit that you have learned about him?
One of his quirky habits is his singing in public no matter where we are. I seriously used to hate it, its slowly growing on me. He really can not help it.

7. What is one quirky habit that you have learned about her?
One of her quirky habits I learned about her is her ability to find out everything and know exactly when i am lying
8. Quirkiest moment and/or adventure
 Our biggest adventure is out of the blue deciding to take the train to NY on NYE to a relative's house he never met before. Kind of scary when I think about it now.    

9. What will the back cover of your love story read?
The back of our love story would probably be Different Minds, Same Heart, One Meaning with a big picture of our little girl. 

Make sure to check out Tori's YouTube Channel and Instagram! Also, if you want to see more of both Tori and Blaine, check out Tori's Boyfriend Tag Video

Want to be featured on Q.B.L.? Email us at quirkybrownlove@gmail.com!


To the Girl Who is Everyone's "Go-To" Person

January 15, 2015
To my precious readers, I am sorry but this post is not meant for everyone. This is for the girl who is everyone's "go-to" person. She is a jack-of-all-trades, smart and detailed. She is the girl who all of her friends come to for advice. If you have a problem, she won't sleep until she has a solution. Things that seem complicated to others come easy to her, which is why everyone calls on her for any and everything. She is an amazing listener. When you cry, she can feel your pain. This is the same girl whose mother told her everything and confided in her, even when she shouldn't have because she was too young. When she asks how you are doing, she will actually listen to your response, but unfortunately doesn't always get the same in return. She has been listening to and carrying your baggage for years. 
She seems to have it all together and doesn't ask for much. She would rather take on all of your requests than to disappoint you. People ask her to do tasks beyond her job description, yet she is often overlooked in promotion. This is the girl who has a hard time saying no because sometimes 'no' doesn't seem like a viable option. Some people, even family, see this trait in her and take advantage of that (as if she is your personal money tree or support line). And when she doesn't delivers or decide to say no? She is seen to be selfish and every other time that she has helped in the past seems to fade from their memory. 
Dear Girl Who Is Everyone's "Go-To" Person,

Most people in the world do not have your same heart. A lot of people can only see what benefits them as a person, yet you have been given the beautiful curse to actually give a damn about people other than yourself. You may ask yourself every now and again, "Where is my go-to person? Who looks out for me? If I am always looking out for everyone, don't I deserve someone to do the same for me?" In short, you deserve the world, but in this life, you will not find your reward in other people. Some people are incapable of seeing things outside of their own situation, but you are different. Therefore, your reward comes when you see your life in a different perspective. Yes, people are coming to you for emotional support and it can seem draining. On the other hand, people are coming to you for emotional support because you appear to be emotionally stable. You can take the emotions that they can't stomach themselves. 
So, your family sees you as their personal ATM? Give praise that you are in a financial situation that you can help people if you choose to. Everyone is asking you to do miscellaneous tasks even though you already have a lot on your plate? This could be because others see you as multi-talented (and also that they are too lazy/incompetent to do their own work). This could also show you that you are more talented in another field that you never really considered. Well, its evaluation time at work and you were passed up for that promotion even though your boss comes to you for questions? Maybe this isn't your season to advance yet. Maybe you still have some growing to do or maybe through this position, you will network with someone who will put you in a position better than you could ever dream. 

There is something that you will have to realize: as long as you keep saying yes, you will always be everyone's "go-to" person. In some aspects this can help you in life, but in other's this can make you dread reading your emails and answering your phone. Don't ever lose your heart of gold, but also remind people that they are responsible for their own lives and the decisions that got them to where they are.
Source
In short: don't forget that this is your life, not theirs, and don't let them ever mistake that.

About Us

Quirky, Brown Love is a media outlet for quirky, brown millennials. EST 2014.

Email Bryanda Law, Editor-in-Chief
editor@quirkybrownlove.com