For those who don't know, I am a proud member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Incorporated. Delta blood runs strong through my family (*waves to my mother*); however, I didn't always know that I wanted to be in a sorority.
|Matt at my New Member Initiation Presentation|
|For those who are wondering, I'm #26 out of 34 :)|
My biggest kryptonite is over thinking what people say to me, as well as how I interact with them. On my journey to becoming a Delta, there were a few interactions and comments said that threw my whole process for a loop. I hate feeling like I've disappointed anyone or that I am coming off a certain way, so I definitely take a lot to heart. During my homecoming weekend, an "unsisterly" soror said a few comments to me that almost ruined my whole weekend. To this day, I am still replaying the comments from her and wishing that I could go back in time and say what I wanted to say now that I've had time to think about it. Because of the comments, I didn't even attend a brunch that I RSVPed to because I knew that she would be there and I hadn't yet gathered my thoughts. And I'm not the type of person that blows off free food, especially brunch. I'm sure that other people would have brushed the comments off and kept on with their lives, but for some reason I couldn't. I never can with situations like these.
Unfortunately, my anxious personality is not something that can easily be brushed off. While going through my bits of anxiety over the weekend, I happened to come across this article from Jacque Amadi and almost broke down crying. I had never heard someone describe so accurately how I have felt my whole life. There have been so many times that I've gone out and had to take a "bathroom break" to regroup or have gotten up and left to take a walk without alerting anyone. I'm not one who likes to draw attention to myself, so I don't ever talk about my social anxiety and barely admit it to myself.
For anyone out there who is considering joining a sorority but is afraid that their anxious ways will get the best of them, I have a few tips. First, although sororities can be huge, it's okay to have a few line sisters and sorors who are your "go-to" people when you attend events. Of course you still have all of yours sorors' backs, but it's okay to do so from a distance. Not everyone is going to be super close and that's okay. Also, learn the difference between mandatory and non-mandatory events and be okay with not going to some of the non-mandatory events. You don't have to attend every frat party, girl's night and cookout. Dealing with social anxiety can be so disruptive to life, but realize that these are the hands that you have been given.
I wish that I could tell you that you'll get over being anxious, but we all know that would be a lie. Try to not be disappointed with yourself and do the best that you can.