A Letter To the Girl Who is Not Satisfied with Her Appearance

Whenever my hair grows out, I'll finally feel confident. All I need is to lose/gain weight in the right places and then I will feel good about myself. If only my face was clear and if my breast were bigger.
Quirky, Brown Love | A Letter To the Girl Who is Not Satisfied with Her Appearance
Don't worry, this is NOT a pep talk. 

Who am I to tell you that you should feel satisfied with how you look? This is simply an attempt to show you that at least one other person on this Earth can somewhat relate you what you are going through.

It doesn't matter how many people tell you that you are pretty. It's not necessarily that you feel like you are ugly, you just know that you would, could and can look better if you could just enhance those few things. So until you reach those appearance goals you put limits on yourself. You don't allow yourself to be completely happy because you feel like you can't be happy. You miss out on specific events because your hair 'won't do right' or because nothing you try on makes you feel beautiful. You can still keep it together though. 

As a young girl, I used to tell myself that even though I have always wanted to visit California, I would not visit until my face was clear and my hair was long. I felt like I didn't DESERVE to travel unless I was pretty. No one, not even people you see everyday know that you are going through this inner struggle. It is so easy these days to develop an envious heart with the constant images of "perfect girls" showing up on social media. How is everyone so on top of their appearance game yet you just feel average?
Quirky, Brown Love | A Letter To the Girl Who is Not Satisfied with Her Appearance
Even though there are a billion advertisements out there telling us what to buy and what to eat to be "beautiful", it is still taboo to actually look at another person in conversation and say "I feel unpretty! I am not happy with how I look!" 

You are just expected to struggle in silence and go about your day as you scroll down your Instagram feed in envy.

So what are you suppose to do since you have already established that you aren't satisfied? Well this is NOT a pep talk, so I will not just tell you that you are beautiful and that you should just learn to be happy with who you are. What I will do is tell you what has been working for me, as your peer. It is unrealistic to simply ask someone to stop comparing herself to others as this is human nature and necessary for survival on a purely biological level. 
Quirky, Brown Love | A Letter To the Girl Who is Not Satisfied with Her Appearance
Do realize, however, that you were given your cards in life because you can handle it. 

Some people were given cards to aim to be in the spotlight at all times because this is what they needed in order to make it in this world. You, on the other hand, may have not been dealt these cards because you don't need them. Maybe the person that you are the most envious of has a personality flaw or maybe God chose to make them the "perfect" specimen. Either way, it is not up to you to try to figure out to make yourself feel better.
Quirky, Brown Love | A Letter To the Girl Who is Not Satisfied with Her Appearance
So, yet again, what do I do to feel better about my appearance? I only focus on what I can change. When I was younger, I wanted to save up for a nose job because to me, my nose took up half of my face. This is something that I can not change since I am personally not for plastic surgery. Things that I could change were my weight, work on my skin and practice healthy hair techniques.  I see these as personal goals to change so I participate in "challenges" (such as hair challenges, squat challenges, etc.) and don't let these small aspects run my life. If you are unhappy about something in your life, it is okay to take time out for yourself to work on changing it, but in the meantime, realize that being so unhappy to the point that it consumes you will not change anything. We as humans have made life so complicated and so competitive that sometimes it is hard to remember on a fundamental level what life is really about. 

So yet again, this is NOT a pep talk. This is just a letter from a girl that can somewhat relate to what you may be going through.

About Us

Quirky, Brown Love is a media outlet for quirky, brown millennials. EST 2014.

Email Bryanda Law, Editor-in-Chief